Football Forum | Ticket Forum | Off-Topic Forum | All

les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread

Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Hello Mrs. Jones 2:30 Tue May 7
Re: New Limerick Thread

His excuses would bore me to tears
I'll celebrate with a couple of beers
So now Moyes is toast
What we should all want the most
Is Champions League in under 3 years

So now getting back to the smut
I gave her one right up the butt

Helmut Shown 11:09 Mon May 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

Yet again we have run out of "luck,"
But now I just don't give a fuck
An appalling display
At the home of the gay
But at least there's no more lame duck

His excuses would bore me to tears
I'll celebrate with a couple of beers

Helmut Shown 11:08 Mon May 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

Yet again we have run out of "luck,"
But now I just don't give a fuck
An appalling display
At the home of the gay
But at least there's no more lame duck

His excuses would bore me to tears
I'll celebrate with a couple of beers

arsene york-hunt 7:02 Mon May 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

Ipswich fulfilling their dreams
Yet another of our bogey teams,
We play like we're pissed
Yet one more to the list,
All the PL our bogies it seems.

Yet again we have run out of "luck,"
But now I just don't give a fuck.

Helmut Shown 6:13 Sat May 4
Re: New Limerick Thread

A zoophiliac squirted his spunk,
In the arse of a fully grown skunk
In need of disinfection
After withdrawing his erection
'cause the poor thing squited its gunk

Ipswich fulfilling their dreams
Yet another of our bogey teams

Helmut Shown 6:10 Sat May 4
Re: New Limerick Thread

(nt)

arsene york-hunt 4:05 Sat May 4
Re: New Limerick Thread

She walked in, the epitome of glamour
but when she spoke she had a bad stammer.
By a stroke of good luck
Asked ""F- fancy a f- f- fuck?
I've never done it with a Hammer."


A zoophiliac squirted his spunk,
In the arse of a fully grow. skunk

Helmut Shown 3:07 Fri May 3
Re: New Limerick Thread

I've really got the most sweaty balls
As a result of my cheap nylon smalls
Cotton undercrackers
Should sort out my knackers
And stop walking like Neanderthals

She walked in, the epitome of glamour
but when she spoke she had a bad stammer

Hello Mrs. Jones 7:59 Fri May 3
Re: New Limerick Thread

In Camelot the bold Sir Janus,
On our bare bums he would cane us
With a swish of the stick
With the thin end not thick
The result was really most heinous

I've really got the most sweaty balls
As a result of my cheap nylon smalls

arsene york-hunt 3:23 Fri May 3
Re: New Limerick Thread

How much will the Russians take
To end our Moyes heartache,
Should push out the boat,
To be rid of the scrote,
Stump up for everyone's sake.

In Camelot the bold Sir Janus,
On our bare bums he would cane us,

Helmut Shown 12:14 Thu May 2
Re: New Limerick Thread

A mad knife man isn't much fun,
In the US would have been a gun
But Trump and his friends
And other bellends
Biggest cunts under the sun

How much will the Russians take
To end our Moyes heartache

arsene york-hunt 9:43 Wed May 1
Re: New Limerick Thread

The problem of age is you see
You get up all hours for a pee,
And much more unlucky,
No more fucky-fucky,
Hard, your dick wil ne'er again be.

A mad knife man isn't much fun,
In theUS would have been a gun

Hello Mrs. Jones 7:44 Wed May 1
Re: New Limerick Thread

A white man in Hainault went mad,
And sadly he killed a young lad
Its normal I'm choosing
Some words most amusing
But in this case it's really quite sad

The problem of age is you see
You get up all hours for a pee

Mike Oxsaw 6:59 Wed May 1
Re: New Limerick Thread

There was a young man from Rye,
Had a big wart on his jap's eye.
Some Carbolic soap
Was his only hope
Don't know if it works, worth a try.

A white man in Hainault went mad,
And sadly he killed a young lad.

arsene york-hunt 5:37 Wed May 1
Re: New Limerick Thread

Did I, perhaps, ever mention
The poster demanding attention?
It's a football website,
Just ignore all that shite.
It shouldn't rate your apprehension.

There was a young man from Rye,
Had a big wart on his jap's eye

Mike Oxsaw 10:17 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

When I think about it, I cringe
Stuck my finger up her mother's minge
I must have been mad!
In front of her dad?
No wonder she started to whinge.

Did I, perhaps, ever mention
The poster demanding attention?

arsene york-hunt 9:45 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

Her bottom was deliciously pert
quite visible from under her skirt
I obswerved her affairs,
When she went up some stairs
And my eyes, I could not avert.

When I think about it, I cringe
Stuck my finger up her mother's minge

Hello Mrs. Jones 6:34 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

He thought he'd first have a bash,
At licking his new girl friend's gash
But his labial kiss
Tasted strongly of piss
It was clear she'd just had a slash


Her bottom was deliciously pert
quite visible from under her skirt

arsene york-hunt 5:29 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

Amongst east european fruit pickers
The ladies keep cool with no knickers,
But the smell from their crutch,
Can be just far too much,
The farmers put up warning stickers.

He thought he'd first have a bash,
At licking his new girl friend's gash

Helmut Shown 4:26 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

The best quiz host seen on your screen,
Bradley Walsh or perhaps Hughie Green
Michael Miles from Take Your Pick
Quizzed people who were thick
Shit telly has become the routine

Amongst east european fruit pickers
The ladies keep cool with no knickers

arsene york-hunt 7:26 Tue Apr 30
Re: New Limerick Thread

I hope that all that sitting at trials
Gives Trump a bad case of the piles
And Sturgeon should be sick,
(If) her cell-mate has a dick,*
Which would get alround lots of smiles.

*Paraphrased from a song by Dominic Frisby.

The best quiz host seen on your screen,
Bradley Walsh or perhaps Hughie Green

Page 1 - Next